I am not going to introduce this article with a cheesy “getting pretty vulnerable here” statement, because I have been vulnerable and that is something I want to shamelessly continue to do. In being so open I hope to inspire, to teach you all something important for your own lives. So introductions aside, let’s get into this.
Early this year I became single for the first time in a very long time, and re-learning to meet and date new people was such a different experience. It is all a little difficult to describe, it was new, sometimes exciting, and sometimes frustrating, but it was just different. Through this journey I learned so much about myself and what I want for my future. Through all the craziness of dating, the biggest lesson I learned for myself is the importance of dating with intention.
Sounds a little weird, right?? I remember hearing the phrase from some mentors of mine, as a method to finding a lifelong partner who shares in your values, but for me this is much more than a series of steps or rules for people looking for the one. You might think I am overthinking all this, but really this concept boils down to knowing what you want and pursuing exactly that.
My personal definition of dating with intention is figuring out what you need in a partner before you meet someone, and deciding to be clear about what you are looking for in a relationship, whatever that may be. Know what your intentions are and do not be afraid to make them known.
If you are someone who is not looking to get serious, let your potential partners know. If you are someone who wants to date for marriage, do not waste your time messing around with people who want to “play it cool” or “chill.” Dating with intention can be whatever you want it to be, just know what you want and do not be afraid to make that clear.
For me, I make my intentions clear as early as possible. Sometimes that can be as early as the first date, and in the world of online dating, the same information can be shared in your bio.
Again, I know this may seem brief and simple, but I feel like a lot of people get “caught up” in whatever and forget what they truly want and need. So figure out whatever that is and go for it!