Why You Should Have A List Before You Even Meet Someone

Hello Lovelies!

I’ll be getting personal with this post, but I am excited to open up even more with y’all on an important topic: dating! I have shared a few things about my dating life, but overall I would like to think I am an open book and will always be real and raw with you. You will see more content regarding my relationship and I am so excited that Con is interested in sharing in that content! I also intend to share with you the insight I have found in my own dating journey over the years: the good, the bad, whatever can encourage you or speak to your life. Let’s get into today’s thoughts: the list!

The List

What is this list? I feel like a lot of women (anyone really) already have one, but it is an actual list, written down, of a person’s desires in their future spouse. This list could include physical attributes, dating styles, core beliefs and values, and just other do’s and don’t’s. This seems simple but (trust me) it is not. I made my first list while sitting down to coffee with my best friend the summer after high school. I was hopeful at the idea of moving across the country and potentially finding the love of my life, and I just wanted to dream a little about who that person could be. Here is that list (not kidding here it is):

So it has been a couple years since I pulled this out (btw it says LAR bc those are my initials). There are a few inapplicable comments, and some things I could add. But a whole lot of this list remains true. The person I want to marry is someone I would not want to hide from my parents, someone who pursues me, respects my body, the way I look, and my boundaries, someone who is honest, and someone who shares my faith. I did not realize at the time how important this list would be to me, but when I went through my dating hardships, I remembered what I deserve, what I am worth, and what I really want out of a partnership.

Why Is This Important

Manifestation? Sure! By writing down what you want for your future, you can better focus your energy towards those goals – and this does not apply to relationships alone, but you can also manifest your career goals as well! When you write down that you want old fashioned pursuit it becomes easier to ignore trolls who offer you less than you deserve!

Standards? Ya! There is nothing wrong with having high standards for yourself or the people around you. Similarly to manifestation, you are setting yourself up to avoid whatever does not fit what you want. People say it can be harder to date this way, but I say it is worth it!

Dating With Intention

Here is the big kicker! Y’all have heard me discuss dating with intention before, and this is where it starts! Maybe you are praying for your future spouse, or maybe you’re just a badass boss babe and you want to only date seriously if they are the one. Whenever I explain my philosophy of dating with intention to anyone they get super confused at first but hear me out – I would rather not date at all than go out with a bunch of people who are no good for me. In that time I spend not dating, I am learning about myself and growing into the person I want to be. And when I find someone who I truly like, I only choose to date them because the intentions of the relationship are serious on both sides.

I hope this post served to encourage you in your life to grow into the person you want to be, beginning with self-love and intentionality!

xx,

A

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